Awaken the Shakti Rising Within You
✍️ My kundalini awakening story: from discipline to spiritual ecstasy.
Singha Pura, The Lion City
July 2013. I was on my way from Bali back to my home in Nepal, with a brief stop in Singapore. My computer’s sound card had died, and I knew I couldn’t get it fixed in Kathmandu. But that wasn’t the only reason I was here.
I had just ended an eight-year-long relationship, and the weight of it sat heavy on my chest.
Supposedly, I was heading to Rishikesh, India, for a long retreat, but doubt was killing me. Was this really my path?
A friend in Bali had mentioned a guide to help—Ama Lia.
Singapore was smoky, hot and humid. I was walking around the city a lot. After a month of peace in Bali, the intense buzz of the city, the heat and the smoke from the forest fires in Indonesia were challenging. I found a cheap lodge in Little India and dialed the number. She picked up.
"I'm in Singapore for a few days," I told her. "I just ended a long relationship, and I feel quite shaken. I’m supposed to leave for a 3 year retreat, but I don’t know if it’s right. Can you help me figure myself out?"
She replied without hesitation, "I was waiting for you. Let's meet at the Botanical Garden."
A flicker of doubt crossed my mind. Waiting for me? How is that possible? This sounds like a setup. But my friend had vouched for her, and I trusted him. So I went.
The Himalayan Tradition
As I weighed my decision to meet Ama Lia, my mind wandered back to the path that had led me here.
For six years, yoga had been my entire life. I had moved to India, teaching yoga teacher training to Western students. The year before, I had taken my school to Nepal, seeking the Himalayan roots of yoga.
Swami Rama (1925–1996) was an archetypal yogi, and his stories, like that of Yogananda or Maharishi Mahesh Yogi had fueled the fire of my imagination with tales of enlightenment and yogic feats. He left behind two main disciples—one leading the Himalayan Institute in the U.S., and one in Rishikesh, India: Swami Veda.
Studying with a direct disciple of Swami Rama was a dream come true, an opportunity to learn from one of the last great Himalayan masters.
But the commitment was absolute. Three years of complete dedication, including celibacy. I had been selected after a long process of referrals, and I was silently proud of myself. And yet, the moment it became real, my relationship ended. Suddenly, the certainty I once felt was clouded with doubt.
Ama Lia
They say when the student is ready, the teacher appears. If that’s true, then Ama Lia arrived exactly when I needed her.
She was a white witch from an extraordinary lineage—her great-grandfather had been the personal physician to the Sultan of Selangor. What was meant to be a single afternoon session, a paid consultation, turned into three days of ceremonial magic, free of charge.
She never attempted to answer my questions. She simply worked. I often wondered what she saw in me that invited her for the deep work she did, pro bono.
But I know now. Like many others I have met, she was a servant of the great Goddess, Shakti or any other name you wish to use. Whatever she saw in me is irrelevant, she heard the calling of the goddess, her own guide, and she responded.
On the last day, I stood in her Singapore apartment, surrounded by rare beauty—ancient relics, sacred artifacts, tropical plants, objects humming with unseen energy.
She kept my eyes closed, bending my mind into surrender, she wrapped me in mantras and star languages, embalmed me with incense smoke and sprinkles of holy water, fed me a magic potion, electric blue, shimmering like liquid sapphire. She touched something deep within my core.
The Lion City, had embraced me in its own way, with heat and smoke, like in a crucible, preparing for the fusion. A fusion of Asia, stretching from China and Malaysia to India and the Arabian Peninsula. Some places you pass through. The places you awaken, you never forget.
I had come looking for answers. What I found instead was something far more unfathomable.
Kathmandu
On the fourth morning, I woke early in my hostel on Jalan Besar, packed my bags, and headed to the airport.
As I settled into my seat on the nearly empty Malaysian Airlines flight to Kathmandu, a chill ran through me. A deep, involuntary tremor. My muscles tensed. Then the shaking started.
A full-body shiver, growing stronger, uncontrollable.
I clenched my hands into fists, pressing them into my thighs. If anyone noticed, they might ask me to leave the plane. Breathe. My yogic training kicked in. Breathwork, concentration—contain it.
I learned later that trying to suppress kundalini only makes things worse.
The energy doesn’t like to be tamed. If you hold it down, it waits. Then, when you’re exhausted from the fight, it explodes.
For six years, I had knocked on the door of the great Goddess. Now that she had answered, I could not look away. And she certainly didn’t care about the fasten seat belt sign.
The Awakening
The vibration originated from my pelvis and pulsed rhythmically along my spine, shaking me from the inside out.
For five hours, I drank nothing, ate nothing, barely moved. I focused all my energy on containing my body, which seemed to have a life of its own.
Upon arriving in Kathmandu, I secluded myself at home.
For three days, I barely ate or slept. The tremors surged unpredictably, peaking in waves of what I could only describe as dry orgasms. With my eyes closed, the world around me would dissolve entirely.
When the energy subsided, I would sit at my altar and meditate. But the moment I made any effort, the shaking would return. It took three days to regain enough control to function in the outside world. It took years for the tremors to transform from a violent, physical expression into a subtle, silent current of energy.
Spinal alchemy
I had spent years studying the anatomy of the subtle body—chakras, nadis, prana.
Now, I no longer needed books.
I felt the energy move. A spiral along my spine. Two currents dancing, intertwining. Whenever they aligned perfectly, the shaking would start. The energy surged upward, blasting through resistance. The higher it climbed, the more the world around me faded.
And when it reached my crown, the final threshold—orgasm.
Not the kind tied to the body. Something else entirely.
Since that day, I have never needed to open another book on Kundalini. Much of what I once read no longer made sense. But my experience—that, I understood completely.
My yoga teaching changed. Before, I studied and shared my findings in a way that was uniquely mine. After this, my teaching came from direct experience. It was transmission.
The Departure
I share these experiences because I have received so much.
In my classical yoga training, it was said it takes lifetimes to reach enlightenment, so having started my journey at 46, I did not hold much hope to ever reach. It filled my head with doubts despite the fire of my commitment. Ama Lia strange witchcraft triggered many other doubts, yet, commitment to the experience eventually led to breakthrough.
If these lines inspire you to seek your own magic, buried deep in your cells and DNA, then they have served their purpose. Some things cannot be taught. They can only be lived. And the rewards, when they come, are truly ineffable.
Singapore was a delight for the senses—cuisine, art, beauty, the rich interweaving of cultures blending like a perfectly spiced Malaysian curry. I had spent years disciplining my body and mind through the rigors of ascetic yoga, believing transcendence lay in renunciation, control, and austerity. But when I asked Ama Lia what practice I should be doing next, she simply smiled and said,
“What are the three things you desire most? Just go and do that.”
Her words shook something loose in me. It was a far stretch from the severe disciplines I had subjected myself to—a direct challenge to everything I had believed. That moment was a departure, a turning point.
I never made it to Rishikesh. Instead, I turned my gaze towards Tantra—towards embracing life rather than renouncing it. I flew to Thailand, not India. But that is the beginning of another story.
To this day I have remained in contact with AmaLia and you you can contact here through her website if you’d wish to work with her. She is truly special, not your average spiritual teacher. If you chose to connect with her please let me know. Not only I’d be happy to help could also make an introduction for the right person.
Illuminating perspectives from the Masters: Swami Rama: Living with the Himalayan Masters
This is just the beginning. Continue the adventure in The Chakras Archetypes