I’m so glad I saw this post come up for me a second time.
My dad knew he would be drafted for the Korean War. He did not want to be on the front, so he enlisted, went to electronics school, and was placed on a ship that carried fuel, where he hoped not to have to directly participate in combat (although he saw plenty). All kinds of things come to mind about why he did that, what it meant for him, and what it taught me. We never had guns. He was against them. He had nightmares his whole life about his experiences in the war, but would rarely talk about it. When he did, my attention was rapt. I connected with the pain, I wanted to know more, wanted to understand.
Reading your post, I realize more deeply the illusions and delusions we are living in here in this country. I remember the first time I saw a gun. The horror I felt inside my body, my brain trying to make it normal or okay. You are right, in order to kill another human, we have to also kill a part of ourselves. The desensitization and disillusionment we go through has made such confusion.
Your content is so rich, and so important, and I’ll continue to marinate in this. For now, I am just feeling grateful and raw about it. Thank you.
You know, for all the outrage that has been done to women by the so called "patriarchy" and in history even before it was a name, how many men have been butchered on the battlefield in the name of the same bullshit?
I feel them in my blood, in my DNA and of course I have witnessed it first hand for years.
We are doing it to ourselves.
Out of a deep unresolved existential shadow.
This both sad, horrific and atrocious.
I was also conscripted. And because I had been seen for years among antimilitarist groups and demonstrations, I was send to a disciplinary camp in Germany. I deserted, left my country, lost my right to vote, to have a bank account, etc. I put myself in a big messy situation, but I did not betray my soul. I feel sorry for all those who did. They were manipulated in doing something abominable at incredible cost, even if they did not see a battlefield.
As a kid, I remember my grandfather in his 70's still having nightmares of WW1.
I am sorry for you Dad and I hope somehow he has been able to find peace without clinging to poisonous story.
I agree, and have thought about the slaughter of men and what men have to bear. I’ve thought of the weight of the world on the shoulders of men most recently as I face life in the reflection of my own circumstances. It’s sad and horrible and atrocious, filled with so much confusion and twisted meanings.
I agree that we are doing it to ourselves out of great unresolved existential shadow. I cannot imagine going to a disciplinary camp in Germany. But, I sense that you fled that for your soul and with great and strong spirit. I never thought of my dad as being manipulated into the beliefs he held, but I resonate with this. I can see more clearly now that I have stepped out of my own draconian prison, for I was also manipulated into so many beliefs. Sometimes I think unwinding all that is endless. One thing becomes clear, and then there will be more clarity later about different levels of truth.
My dad had those nightmares until he died. But, I think he also was able to find peace in many ways while he was still here. He’s with me all the time, without the poison now.
Gabriel doesn’t just speak truth—she bleeds it, on behalf of those who were taught to worship the gun and call it God.
This isn’t anti-veteran—it’s anti-betrayal.
A war cry not of rage, but of holy refusal.
Virgin Monk Boy would like to offer a slightly heretical footnote:
Freedom that requires blood is just privilege with a marketing budget.
And honoring someone for surviving the machine isn’t the same as questioning why the machine exists in the first place.
Gabriel's words don’t ask for your comfort. They ask for your courage.
To feel again. To see again. To love in a world that calls numbness maturity.
If peace had a gospel, this would be it:
Make love, not war—because war is never love’s will.
And anyone telling you otherwise is selling uniforms to ghosts.
wow... through your words, I feel seen 🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼♀️
I’m so glad I saw this post come up for me a second time.
My dad knew he would be drafted for the Korean War. He did not want to be on the front, so he enlisted, went to electronics school, and was placed on a ship that carried fuel, where he hoped not to have to directly participate in combat (although he saw plenty). All kinds of things come to mind about why he did that, what it meant for him, and what it taught me. We never had guns. He was against them. He had nightmares his whole life about his experiences in the war, but would rarely talk about it. When he did, my attention was rapt. I connected with the pain, I wanted to know more, wanted to understand.
Reading your post, I realize more deeply the illusions and delusions we are living in here in this country. I remember the first time I saw a gun. The horror I felt inside my body, my brain trying to make it normal or okay. You are right, in order to kill another human, we have to also kill a part of ourselves. The desensitization and disillusionment we go through has made such confusion.
Your content is so rich, and so important, and I’ll continue to marinate in this. For now, I am just feeling grateful and raw about it. Thank you.
You know, for all the outrage that has been done to women by the so called "patriarchy" and in history even before it was a name, how many men have been butchered on the battlefield in the name of the same bullshit?
I feel them in my blood, in my DNA and of course I have witnessed it first hand for years.
We are doing it to ourselves.
Out of a deep unresolved existential shadow.
This both sad, horrific and atrocious.
I was also conscripted. And because I had been seen for years among antimilitarist groups and demonstrations, I was send to a disciplinary camp in Germany. I deserted, left my country, lost my right to vote, to have a bank account, etc. I put myself in a big messy situation, but I did not betray my soul. I feel sorry for all those who did. They were manipulated in doing something abominable at incredible cost, even if they did not see a battlefield.
As a kid, I remember my grandfather in his 70's still having nightmares of WW1.
I am sorry for you Dad and I hope somehow he has been able to find peace without clinging to poisonous story.
Love
I agree, and have thought about the slaughter of men and what men have to bear. I’ve thought of the weight of the world on the shoulders of men most recently as I face life in the reflection of my own circumstances. It’s sad and horrible and atrocious, filled with so much confusion and twisted meanings.
I agree that we are doing it to ourselves out of great unresolved existential shadow. I cannot imagine going to a disciplinary camp in Germany. But, I sense that you fled that for your soul and with great and strong spirit. I never thought of my dad as being manipulated into the beliefs he held, but I resonate with this. I can see more clearly now that I have stepped out of my own draconian prison, for I was also manipulated into so many beliefs. Sometimes I think unwinding all that is endless. One thing becomes clear, and then there will be more clarity later about different levels of truth.
My dad had those nightmares until he died. But, I think he also was able to find peace in many ways while he was still here. He’s with me all the time, without the poison now.