The 5 Reasons People Seek Guidance
A new multi part series on the real struggles beneath modern life
The Shift
11 am. First call of the day. Two rings, then “Hello?”
“Hi John, this is Gabriel… how are you doing today?”
Almost always the same: “I’m doing okay.”
But I know better…
So I give it a minute. A few gentle questions. Space for a pause. A breath. I wait for the ripple beneath the surface. Then it comes, softly, inevitably:
“Actually… I’m not okay.”
People don’t reach out to a coach when life is smooth. They reach out when something starts to move, a health scare, a heartbreak, money trouble, work pressure, a collapsing identity, or that quiet ache that whispers, “I don’t know who I am anymore.”
When The Time Is Right
People usually arrive in three states.
1 — Still inside the grind.
The job that drains them.
The relationship that confuses them.
The depression that feels like fog.
The anxiety that whispers, “Something’s wrong.”
The notifications are loud, but no change has been made so far, or they didn’t work.
2 — Already in the aftermath.
The breakup, the illness, the layoff, the burnout, the collapse of something essential.
They’re standing in the empty space afterward, rebuilding, cautious not to repeat the past. They’ve turned the notifications off, but the echoes remain.
3 — Doing well, but feeling the pull.
No crisis. No emergency.
Just the quiet intuition that alignment is slipping.
These people move early, they’ve learned to listen before the notifications become screams (that is definitely the best place for coaching, we are in prevention mode, not at the ER anymore).
I’ve met people in each of these thresholds.
Everyone arrives for the same reason:
the life they’ve been living can’t hold who they’re becoming.
Five Common Places Life Breaks Us Open
HEALTH: When the body says “enough”
Health is usually the first thing to crack.
The body is simply the most honest feedback.
Burnout, exhaustion, chronic pain, illness, addiction, anxiety, insomnia, nervous-system collapse… these aren’t random malfunctions. They’re messages. The body whispers at first: tension, fatigue, tight breath, heaviness. When ignored, the whispers turn into a scream.
Most people come to me at this threshold: when vitality collapses, when the mind is confused but the body is unmistakably clear: “I can’t go on like this.”
Health crises are invitations, the moment life says:
Something in the way you’re living is no longer sustainable.
This is where real change begins:
Not in the mind’s explanations, but in the body’s truth.
LOVE: When love brings loss, conflict, or confusion.
Love is where we shatter the most.
Heartbreak, conflict, betrayal, numbness, the slow death of intimacy, the grief of losing someone we can’t replace, nothing exposes us like relationship.
Most of us never learned how to relate.
We learned how to perform, manage, please, sacrifice, seduce, compromise, but not how to stay honest, present, and grounded inside love.
So relationships become mirrors:
Attachment wounds surface, childhood patterns replay, co-dependence forms, loneliness grows even inside partnership.
People come because the heart is tired of pretending.
The whispers, “This isn’t working”, turn into a roar.
Relationship pain is the soul refusing to be abandoned any longer.
MONEY: When Security Can No Longer Be Bought
Money is where modern fear lives.
Security anxiety, unstable careers, volatile economies, AI reshaping everything, inflation, transitions, stagnation, even people with “enough” feel unsafe.
This is the great illusion:
Money solves problems, yes. But it never gives safety.
Wealth can evaporate overnight. Job titles vanish. Industries collapse. Savings shrink. And the nervous system stays wired, waiting for the next tremor.
People come to me at this crossroads:
”I can’t trust the ground under my feet.”
Financial chaos is a sign that external stability has reached its limit.
True security comes from inner stability, not from chasing guarantees that never arrive.
WORK: When the Mask of Achievement Stops Working
Work breaks people more quietly than anything else.
Careers collapse. Meaning evaporates. Success feels empty.
The job becomes a cage. The identity tied to it starts to crack.
People arrive saying:
“I don’t know who I am at work anymore” or
“I’m successful, but I feel dead inside.”
They’re exhausted from performing, from roles they’ve outgrown, from expectations that never felt like theirs.
They’re stuck between wanting change and fearing the consequences.
The real crisis isn’t just professional, it’s existential:
”Is this all there is?”
What started as purpose now feels like obligation.
What began as ambition now feels like exile from the self.
Work collapses when the soul refuses to live on autopilot any longer.
MEANING: When success stops being enough
Meaning is what breaks when everything else collapses.
Midlife crisis, existential dread, spiritual hunger, identity loss, the big questions:
“Who am I?”, “What is my life about?”
People come when the old story no longer fits.
When success isn’t satisfying, when spiritual clichés fall flat, when the self they’ve been performing feels too small.
This is a deeper collapse, not of circumstances, but of identity.
A dismantling of old beliefs, roles, and narratives.
A longing for truth that actually holds weight.
Meaning isn’t found by thinking.
It appears when inner and outer truth finally match.
This threshold is where people stop seeking fixes and start seeking themselves.
The Threshold We All Walk
After decades of watching people break, heal, rebuild, and rise, one pattern is clear:
No one comes to a coach because life is easy.
People come because something true has begun.
A crack.
A whisper.
A quiet, steady knowing: “I can’t keep living this way.”
Health, love, money, work, meaning, these are only doorways.
Different symptoms of the same shift toward alignment.
Over the coming weeks, I’ll explore each threshold more deeply.
A conversation about being human when life asks us to grow.
If something here touches you, consider it an invitation to pause. To listen.
To see what part of your life is calling for attention.
And if you feel the pull to walk your threshold with steadiness and clarity, reach out, because no one should navigate the hardest terrain alone.
I help people find stability and clarity in the chaos of life.
Whenever you’re ready, I’m here.
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PS: “Change Your Story, Change The World” is a storytelling endeavor that looks deeply into the psyche that creates the stories we live by—with the intention to help us shape better stories, both personally and collectively.
Because the stories we tell are the reality we live.
Meaning -- at my age, that's the real question.
I think everyone can relate to some part of this:). Great clarity. Thank you!