The Wake Up Call You Didn't Know You Needed
✍️ Seeing chaos not as destruction, but as the portal to transformation.
Life, in its most unpredictable moments, often teaches us the deepest lessons.
In April 2014, I was in Thailand, preparing for a significant evaluation that would culminate months of intensive training. With just a few days to go, I contracted dengue fever. If you never heard of it or experienced it: it is brutal with no cure nor mitigation.
For days I lay on the floor of my bungalow, each bone in my body aching as if broken—a sensation so accurately captured by the Spanish term for dengue, “fiebre quebrantahuesos” or “bone-breaking fever.” Forget eating or drinking, I was sipping this awful bitter papaya leaf juice hoping it would help. The pre-monsoon heat was oppressive, making even breathing a challenge. Sometimes, the fever intensified to the point of hallucination, blurring the edges between reality and pain.
On the day of the test, utterly depleted and barely able to stand, I began to deliver my lecture. At that very moment, the fever, which had relentlessly tormented me for days, began to recede. By the end of my presentation, not only had the illness faded from my consciousness, but I had also delivered what my main teacher would later describe as the best presentation on the subject she had ever heard.
Against all odds, I was led to surrender to the experience and trust in something deeper within myself. I learned a memorable lesson from chaos: in the worst, expect the best!
The subject of my lecture was True Love.
Have you ever heard of “chaos theory”? It proposes that in complex systems, particularly when unstable, small changes can have large, unpredictable effects—what is known as the “butterfly effect.” In the example above, the complex system was my body, and the chaos was dengue fever; the subtle and small change was my surrender.
Chaos theory teaches us that within the apparent randomness of chaotic systems, there are underlying patterns and deterministic laws that we might not immediately perceive. My experience in Thailand was a testament to this.
Interestingly, I wrote a post in October called "Crazy Wisdom: a needed agent provocateur" where I explored how Crazy Wisdom serves as a potent antidote to our collective delusion. Crazy Wisdom, by introducing paradoxical and chaotic actions, shocks us out of habitual patterns and complacency, forcing us to confront the deeper truths of our existence.
Without noticing the connection, my New Year message to my friends started with “Chaos is here, my friend, and it’s not going anywhere. In fact, my sense is that it’s deepening, darkening. The world feels like it’s teetering on the edge of some great unraveling.” Just a few days later, the Los Angeles fires plunged us into chaos, and on January 20, another form of chaos began.
Like Crazy Wisdom, chaos doesn’t just disrupt; it transforms. It compels us to look beyond our conditioned responses and see the larger dance of the cosmos. It teaches us to embrace life’s uncertainties and to find the still point in the turning world, where true wisdom resides.
I had no idea in October and January that my posts about chaos would become so relevant today. It's as if there was a hidden order at the heart of chaos that was guiding my pen.
My experience with dengue fever in Thailand taught me to surrender to the moment, to trust the deep connection I had with my subject, Love, and to let go of my fears and preconceptions. It showed me that sometimes, the most chaotic moments can lead to the clearest insights. I see now that any other road would have led me to speak from my head rather than my heart.
Whether it’s through the lens of chaos theory or the practice of Crazy Wisdom, we learn that embracing chaos is not about courting disorder but about recognizing the opportunity for profound transformation.
As we navigate the complexities of the current political scene, may we all find the courage to face chaos with open hearts and minds, trusting that even in the midst of turmoil, there is a pattern waiting to be discovered, a lesson waiting to be learned.
In June, I visited an old friend in Europe, a journalist deeply committed to the integrity of journalism and very aware of the global scene. As we discussed the US political landscape, he dropped a bombshell: “Trump is your best chance!” I was stunned. Knowing him for years, I trusted he had compelling reasons for such a statement. He explained that while the Democrats present a polished front, they might only perpetuate a dysfunctional status quo, whereas the disruption the alternative brings could catalyze faster, deeper change—not the superficial changes we see being implemented today, but something more profound that eludes our current government.
And what if this chaos is absolutely perfect? What if it is the way towards the change we have been waiting for so long? What if this chaos prepares us for the most perfect outcome? This chaos might be the wake-up call we need, compelling us to confront our limitations and evolve.
So in the meantime, let’s all be butterflies and flap our wings, let's remember we were once caterpillars and unconsciously ate everything around us, unaware of the metamorphosis to come. Let's stay centered in our heart and trust in the greater process at play. There is a deeper intelligence that underpins the universe, one that has crafted the incredible beauty surrounding us over billions of years on this planet alone. I am not advocating for passivity or merely observing from the sidelines. Instead, I am suggesting we move with the perfection, not against it. Let us recognize that our tendencies to despair and lose momentum are often just reflections of our limited perspective, which does not allow us to see the perfect order at the heart of chaos.
As we navigate these turbulent times, let us not only adapt but also align with the rhythmic dance of the cosmos. By embracing the uncertainty with courage and maintaining a clear vision of trust, we actively participate in the unfolding of a greater design—a design that invites us to grow, transform, and ultimately, to thrive in the whirlwind of life's infinite possibilities.