In the last two weeks, we explored:
This week, we take a first peek into something bigger:
The Culture of Presence—or more precisely, how we’ve built a culture that consistently undermines it and the cost to our “gift”.
The Gift & the Power of Presence
We all carry a gift.
It’s not something we trained for or achieved.
It’s something that flows through us simply by being who we are.
So natural, so effortless, we often don’t even notice it.
While others try hard to do what comes easily to us, we dismiss it as nothing special.
That’s the strange thing about the gift.
It can be invisible to the one who carries it, because it isn’t made or manufactured. It’s given. It doesn’t come from us. It moves through us.
We come to know our gift through reflection.
Through the feedback of others who say:
“When you did that… something shifted in me.”
“You probably don’t even realize it, but that thing you said changed everything.”
Every loop begins with this offering.
What follows shapes what that gift becomes.
Presence Shapes Everything
Presence is the ground the gift grows in.
When we are present, we can feel what is real in us.
We connect to our body, our rhythm, our truth.
We know when something is aligned, and we know when it’s not.
Presence is what allows the gift to stay alive.
Not just for a moment, but over time.
This is why the loop matters.
In a coherent loop, presence increases with every cycle. The gift is enhanced.
We feel safe and aligned. We offer more easily. We remain connected. The gift evolves.
In an incoherent loop, presence breaks down. The gift is undermined.
We become scattered or reactive. We shape the gift to fit external demands. We lose contact with what was once natural.
This is what the diagram shows behind the scenes.
These loops are not only cultural. They are physiological. They are relational. They shape our energy, our voice, our path.
With each turn of the loop, we either deepen our connection to the gift—or drift further from it.
Let’s look at what happens when the same gift enters two different fields.
The Coherent Loop
A living cycle of resonance and growth
It begins with our true offering.
A service, a message, a creation, a presence.
Something real that moves through us with ease.
When the gift meets a coherent field, here’s what unfolds:
Gift → Authentic Offering
We don’t shape it to impress. We share it as it is, from alignment.
Authentic Offering → Clear Reflection
It reaches the right people, who respond with honesty and resonance.
Clear Reflection → Deeper Alignment
We feel recognized. Not flattered—seen. We become more ourselves.
Deeper Alignment → Resonance Grows
The next offering flows with more ease, clarity, and energy.
Resonance → Trust Deepens
We begin to trust our own rhythm, timing, and expression.
Trust → Safety Expands
Our nervous system relaxes. We feel safe to be visible. To take up space.
Safety → Natural Expansion
Without pushing, more becomes possible. Ideas, opportunities, synchronicities.
Each loop feeds the next.
And the gift grows stronger with each cycle.
The Incoherent Loop
A cycle of distortion, doubt, and contraction
The gift begins the same way.
But when it enters a dys-regulated field, the story shifts.
Gift → Market-Driven Offering
We offer it, but bend it to fit expectations.
Market-Driven Offering → Metric-Based Reflection
Feedback becomes shallow—likes, sales, visibility. We feel measured, not met.
Metric-Based Reflection → Distorted Alignment
We begin to question ourselves. The clarity fades.
Distorted Alignment → Energy Drops
What once felt easy becomes effortful.
Energy Drop → Trust Wavers
We stop trusting our own rhythm. We chase trends.
Low Trust → Safety Decreases
We begin to contract. We hesitate. We hide or perform.
Unsafe Field → Contraction
Eventually, the gift is buried—or becomes something we no longer recognize.
This loop can repeat itself for years.
Until presence is reclaimed—and the cycle is broken.
Caution
Life isn’t black and white.
These loops describe the extremes—clear coherence or deep distortion.
But most of us live somewhere in between.
Some days we feel aligned. Other days we adapt.
Some offerings are true. Others get reshaped by fear or fatigue.
That’s human.
In a future post, we’ll explore what happens in between—
How we can stay regulated in a dysregulated environment,
and how to bring presence into spaces that don’t yet know how to receive it.
PS: “Change Your Story, Change The World” is a storytelling endeavor that looks deeply into the psyche that creates the stories we live by—with the intention to help us shape better stories, both personally and collectively.
Because the stories we tell are the reality we live.
You are describing an invaluable reality here. Noticing my gift in the way you describe feels a bit like recognition and a bit like insight. When a client says, “you changed my life when you said…,” I breathe and notice - there it is, there is the gift. However, I can’t chase the gift and “try” to do it more often. It comes naturally, and it comes when I am in alignment, not in ego. I notice also, the loop you describe here about posting in alignment and then trying to chase or fit something that will reach more people. It doesn’t work. I contract and withdraw.