I don’t trust you
I wanted to
But you lost me
I wanted to
Because it felt safe
It felt less alone
You lost me
I lost the plot
That meant a lot
I wanted to listen
you asked me to speak
I wanted to speak
You asked me to listen
But all I could hear
I realized
We’re just lies
You never wanted me to speak nor listen
In the first place
Only to believe
To believe your story
To obey
To buy in
You lost me
I lost myself too
No one to trust
I got defensive
Lost and aggressive
I wanted to be strong
Not to be wrong
I said I will do it alone
Ahah, not possible
I lied to myself too
Claimed to be a victim
Chose to play the game
Not the money game
Not the fame game
The other game
Hide and seek
Mostly hide
Yet enough seeking
To find something
A new path
That led somewhere else
I was still lost but there was action
Some direction
I walked
You talked
I walked my own talk
First you lost me, now I lost you
I don’t trust you but I trust me
I lost you but I found me
Lost and found
Simple
I know
That I don’t know
Anything
That I will never know
But I know just enough
I know me
And that is all
All I need to know
From here only I can speak
Not your truth
Not the holy truth
My truth
From here only I can listen…
And breathe…
And Love…
From here
What can I lose?
From here
What else can be found?
What Comes Next — The Sacred Paradox Series
This piece is the opening note in a larger unfolding—what I’m calling The Sacred Paradox.
It’s a series of transmissions, written from the tender edge where spiritual truth and human rawness meet. Where we can both scream and be still. Where the nervous system trembles, and yet, some part of us knows everything is already whole.
Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing six pieces—poetic, reflective, sometimes spoken, always real. They’ll follow the trail of this paradox, not to resolve it, but to live it more fully.
Here’s a glimpse of what’s coming:
1. Walking Barefoot into Uncertainty — trust when nothing feels safe
2. Voice Unleashed, Heart Untouched — how to speak from fire without burning out
3. The Perfection of the Storm — letting chaos belong
4. Sitting with the Monster — being with fear instead of fixing it
5. The Transmission of Paradox — truth that can’t be taught, only felt
6. Sacred Rage, Sacred Stillness — how anger and peace can breathe in the same body
If any of these titles stir something in you—stay close.
You don’t have to sign up or chase. Just come as you are. I’ll be here
